Information & Advice
A comment from a Mountain Rescue Team Annual Report which we commend to you all to read and take on board:
Rescue team members have no problem in assisting those who have, in good faith, misjudged either the conditions or their own strengths. Gaining the valuable experience that makes a good mountaineer can be a hit and miss affair and mistakes (and accidents) will happen along the way. Mountain Rescue teams are the backups when the best alid of plans go awry.
However, there does seem to be an increase in the number of people venturing onto the hill without any perception of the real spirit of mountaineering. At least part of that spirit is the requirement for self-sufficiency. This includes, at the very least, an ability to plan an achievable route according to strengths and weaknesses, the ability to navigate that route, to take clothing adequate for the weather likely to be encountered, and to know when enough is enough before tiredness sets in. But self-sufficiency is now, to a small but growing minority the limited ability to dial on a mobile phone and quote a GPS reading to the rescue team when the going gets a little too tough, or too wet and windy, or too dark.
Rescue can be too strong a word to apply to that minority of calls which arise solely because it is easier to call a rescue team than, for example, to learn to read a map and compass.
Fine words indeed - please remember all rescue teams are formed of volunteers - call them when necessary but do not waste their time.
What’s brown and glides around on ice rinks? Bournville and Dean
What gets bigger the more you take away? A hole
CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is a true story from a telephone helpline. Needless to say the Help Desk
employee was fired.
Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you? Yes well, I'm having trouble
with my PC.
What sort of trouble? Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
words went away.
Went away? They disappeared
Hmm, So what does your screen look like now? Nothing
Nothing? It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.
Can you move your cursor around the screen? There isn't any cursor: I told
you it won't accept anything I type.
Does your monitor have a power indicator? What's a monitor?
It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little
light that tells you when it's on?
I don't know.
Well,
then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that?
Yes, I think so.
Great, follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Yes it is.
When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one? No.
Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Okay here it is.
Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged into the back of the computer.
I can't reach.
Uh, huh, Well can you see if it is? No.
Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? Oh, it's not
because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.
Dark? Yes the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming from
the window.
Well, turn on the office light. I can't.
No, why not? Because there's a power failure.
A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still
have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in? Well
yeah, I keep them in the closet.
Good, go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when
you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from. Really? Is it
that bad?
Yes, I'm afraid it is. Well, alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Tell them you're too f***ing stupid to own a computer.