Picture Gallery
What does the word minimum mean? A very small mother
Why did the baby foal take throat lozenges? Because he was a little horse
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| Mud, Glorious Mud | Our first wedding, at a church in St Lucia (must be near Sellafield, hence the palm trees!) (June 03) | Yorkshire Dales Weekend (June 04) | aaah, a new member |
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| Live from our on the spot reporter for Twix News.... (January 05) | The beast of Barlaston.... | ....in its Hula Hoop frenzy | Just resting (August 05) |
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| Sharp Edge (August 05) | Sharp Edge (August 05) | Osprey, Whinlatter (August 05) | Helpful signs (October 05) |
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| Our second wedding (October 05) | Better than the BBC weather nowadays... (Station Inn, Ribblehead August 06) | The view from Stickle Tarn (June 07) | What happens if you don't take enough supplies (August 07) |
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| Bates Motel, Newlands Valley (November 07) | Motivation - The pubs just down there! (October 08). | Does it rain in the Lake District? (October 08) | Jungle Jo (Mar 09) |
Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?
SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication, we do not even have a chicken.
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
KOFI ANAN
We have yet to pass a resolution commissioning the identification of this animal and it is far too early to discuss any road.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MARY WHITEHOUSE
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken? I don't remember a chicken
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chick book - and Internet Eggsplorer is an integral part of eChicken2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?